Dreams,Demons and determination..

Is all about the D today.. .(not to be misconstrued)..

So we all have Dreams we all have determination – but of course we all have demons, and we can either let them ruin our dreams or make us more determined to get to the dream, Also maybe leading us through unexpected routes of getting to them.

I have a good example of this, when I was going through a difficult time mentally and physically and I felt like my main dream of being a successful working, talented actress was slipping away and fading, it was a demon, I was constantly feeling sorry for myself, feeling crap, dwelling on a recent but tricky past and dwelling on what was not happening and what should be. This lead me to find other ways of trying to reach where I needed to be. Someone told me to go and find a way of serving others and while you wait to get the chance to do it through story telling.

I am and always have been very interested in casting, writing, producing ect.. Everything that goes on behind camera – so I went in search of a extra corner to my funnily shaped, not so well rounded but confusing self – so I could serve.

I applied for multiple casting assistant jobs, runner work, entertainment PA jobs ect.. and eventually went and got a super intern spot with Imperium. I loved it! it shortly lead to a full time thing and I was allowed to build a really cool client list of children of all ages. It grew and grew and keeps growing and so dose my love for the kids. I love working flat out, pushing as hard as I can for my little ones, it pays off and they all started and have not stopped booking amazing work. Its continues to push, challenge and inspire me. My love for this industry and all the people I  meet in it grows daily. The demons we face as individuals – A few of mine consist of self doubt, overthinking, poor health and lack of confidence still challenge me everyday but I have started to realise they are all part of a much bigger picture and makes the determination stronger and the dreams founder – even more reachable and even adds other dreams along the way – leading to ways of getting to the original dreams through the unexpected. (got to be funner right  -when things don’t go to plan!?)

Really the actor is just the tiniest part in the puzzle. Without the manager you may not have the right agent who would not have got you to have been seen by the casting director, who will not have got you through to the director or/and producer who would not have put you in there work, which could not have been written without the written, you could not have looked the part with out the wiggles and all at costume and make-up, without the sound guys you will not have been heard and with out the camera crew you would not have been seen, without the direction it would not have worked, without the investors none of this would be happening, without the guys at post production this would never of been finished and with out the fellow other actors… (this could go on forever but you get my gist). Basically there are so many people that work incredibly hard to make something happen and everyone has their own individual dreams.

I think what I wanted to really get to is that it is so easy to get so wrapped up in our on little world and just think about us that one tiny piece that goes in the puzzle, and yes of course we are important to think about yourself but it is also so important not to forget the others – to support and be understanding that everyone has just about the same distance to travel as you do even though the  journey is going to be completely different.

Everyone has dreams, determination.. and demons. The ones who win are the ones who use the demons as fuel.


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